As the old saying goes, “New year, new me,” and 2014 is here, now just over half way into the first month. So how is the whole “new year, new you” thing going? If you’re like most people, probably not very well. A friend alerted me to the fact that January 17th is apparently the day most people give up on their New Years resolutions. Not sure how this fact was assessed, but it doesn’t seem too outlandish. If anything, I’ll give people props for lasting that long on certain kinds of resolutions. Going to the gym every day, or cutting out processed foods, spending more time with relatives, spending less money…all noble and worthy pursuits, but let’s be real, two straight weeks of that kind of, er, change, is more than enough to realize, Nevermind! or maybe even more strongly, I cannot and I will not.

Maybe instead of specific “goals,” for 2014 we can decide on a few attitudes, mindsets and general behaviors we want to maintain during the year. Perhaps with a better frame of mind, everything else (yes, even running) will follow–at least less painfully. We can even make the list super easy. Inevitable, even. We can look forward to things we’re going to do anyway, such as….

1) FAIL

That’s right, let’s look forward to failure in 2014. A lot of it, a little of it…but assuredly some healthy dose of it. Enough to teach us some lessons, the primary one being how to deal with failure itself. This is a skill most people (and I certainly) probably don’t have. How much does the fear of failure keep you from doing what you want with your life? When we fail, how do you handle it–is it the end of the world, or just the beginning of a new one?

Now, I’m not talking about purposely failing and putting less effort into things. I mean the kind of failure where you do put in effort to something, and it still doesn’t turn out as you’d hoped, which makes it all the more discouraging. However, the most important thing failure implies is that you’ve seized an opportunity–you’ve tried something new, you’ve challenged yourself, you’ve opened yourself up to an experience, and ultimately, you’ve made an attempt! That’s what living is all about. But certainly it can be scary, and failing isn’t a fun thing. But maybe practicing viewing failure as a sign of strength rather than a deficiency will make it less oppressive over our lives, and easier to cope with.

It’s gonna happen. So let’s run full-fledged to those opportunities we want, without fear. And when we inevitably stumble on that rock or that outstretched foot, well, it’ll hurt for a bit, and it’ll suck, but hey, you ran some distance, and isn’t the new viewpoint cool and different? If you hadn’t started running, you wouldn’t have seen that flying squirrel, or found a dollar on the ground, or have a cool story to tell about how you did a little summersault on the way down. Plus, now you know to jump over the rocks and feet.

2) Living in the Present

This one may be a bit cliche, and may have already been on some new years’ resolutions lists, but it’s a good one, and an often forgotten one during the course of the year. Too much time can be wasted dwelling on the past–as well as dwelling on the future. Personally, the future has always frightened me. Yes, there is the excitement of leaving things behind, moving on and becoming independent and all that, but it can also be very worrisome and anxiety-provoking. Currently, most people I associate with feel this way (I’m a soon to be college grad). But I’m sure most can relate to worrying about what’s going to happen tomorrow and preparing for it by planning and overthinking today, perhaps even being paralyzed by the prospect of what’s to come.

Let us stop sacrificing the current moment, our thoughts and energy on something that does not even exist yet, or that no longer exists. We’re not at tomorrow yet–we’re in the present. The sun is shining (well, if you’re in California, at least) outside right now at this very second–do you need to be thinking about the uncertainties of the future and ruining what could potentially be an amazing day? Worry about things when they become the present. You can’t control what hasn’t even arrived. Just like you can’t control what has passed. What do we miss when we try? That mean thing someone said to you last week, or that stressful thing you have to do later, has no substance in the present moment. Foresight and reflection is good, but we don’t live in the future or the past. Let’s experience the now more. You only have authority over the now, so exercise it and feel it–NOW!

3) Saying ‘Yes’ more. And ‘No.’

Making decisions is hard. So hard, in fact, that there is a class of people (of which I am party) that will do their utmost to avoid being the one to choose the restaurant when going out. So imagine the trouble these people may go through when facing decisions everyone struggles with–what career path to pursue? Where to live? Who to surround yourself with? What iPhone cover to commit to? In all seriousness, 2014 should be about taking a stance when it matters to you. Too often, we are worried about how our decisions will affect or will be judged other people–but when it comes to your own life, only you truly know what is right for you. Others may give advice and words of wisdom, but ultimately, you’re your own person, and what may work out for them may not for you. I’ve learned that when things don’t work out, it’s much more crummy to deal with when they were the result of taking someone else’s advice over my own leanings. Crummy as in annoying, and regrettable that I had not trusted my own gut. Invariably our own decisions will not work out, but at least they were borne of our own agency, beliefs and aspirations. Let’s make decisions this year, work them, own them, and not look back.

Thinking of this phrase another way, let us say “no” more when we truly don’t want to do something. And “yes” when we truly do, or when an opportunity arises that may be a little scary. Part of this is being more honest, and taking risks. Yes, let’s go there. No, I’d rather go over here. Yeah!